7 Ways to Rekindle a Broken Relationship
Relationships, no matter how strong they appear on the surface, are delicate and need constant nourishment and understanding from both the parties. Sometimes, a much-cherished relationship may encounter a sudden setback, leaving deep scars and it may seem difficult to repair. Situational obstacles may affect the fabric of a relationship, but an honest intention to revive the bond can help and heal.
The first step towards repairing a relationship is the willingness to work on the modifiable factors that damaged it in the first place. It may require self-improvement, introspection and understanding things from other person’s point of view. In the end, it is the deep love and commitment that you share with your partner that can salvage a broken relationship.
“A broken relationship fractures people’s sense of stability, intimacy, hope and belief in enduring bonds all at once. Beneath the emotional tremors lies lingering post-traumatic damage from betrayal. From appetite or sleep disruptions to lowered immunity, the trauma of heartbreak and life overhaul stresses bodies coping with profound change.
Feeling victimized, betrayed or abandoned can give way to bitterness, desire for vengeance and instinct to assign blame rather than accept. Inability to focus, mental fog, poor decision making, distraction addiction and despair for the future block the healing,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach,
Rekindling a relationship after such anguish requires two willing, self-reflective people communing through old pain to rediscover why they came together in the first place – not resuming harmful patterns.
WAYS TO REKINDLE A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP
Here are 7 ways to rekindle a broken relationship as suggested by Dr Chandni.
1. Individual healing first: Both parties likely carry blame, grief and resentment over betrayed trust that needs to be processed before real reconciliation is possible. Processing separately via reflection, therapy or support groups prevents being overwhelmed navigating implications together. Rushing prematurely back together can become toxic.
2. Openly acknowledge harmful past actions: Partners need space to name the wounds suffered before releasing grudges. This may require multiple difficult conversations allowing raw honesty in a spirit of understanding – not judgment or vengeance.
3. Commit to necessary self-improvements: Addictions, neglect, dishonesty or other harmful behaviours that damaged the relationship should demonstrate long-term changes first through verifiable actions like rehab completion, maintenance of transparency, etc. before reuniting feels safe.
4. Slowly rebuild broken trust: No quick fix exists for shattered faith after betrayals. Perpetrators must humbly earn back credibility through steady proofs of loyalty, follow-through, emotional availability and accountability as victims find readiness to extend fragile reliance once more.
5. Discuss practical changes required: Both people must identify individual and relationship habits that enabled dysfunction, neglect, dishonesty, etc. and then negotiate specific boundaries and proactive initiatives needed going forward. These may involve better communication strategies, increased dedicated couple time, dividing household duties more equitably, financial transparency, etc. Agreeing to mutual guidelines prevents repeating past pitfalls.
6. Mark new chapters with rituals: Significant turning points merit acknowledgment through symbolic gestures declaring commitment to writing a new unified story together. These may involve ceremonies, meaningful travels back to places of happier memories, creating vision boards for the future, compiling soundtracks that capture the renewed vibe of the relationship, or imagined dialogues embracing hard truths in order to obsolete them.
7. Invest in professional support: Even with the best of intentions, emotional baggage unconsciously passes intergenerationally or manifests from childhood wounds in ways ill-equipped couples recirculate without deeper investigation. Counselling, workshops, support groups or spiritual mentoring all provide necessary outside objectivity and expertise in overcoming engrained relational patterns the two alone failed to address sufficiently the first time around.
With courageous self-work unpacking denial and resentment, establishment of independence, emotional processing with support, and embracing hard-won wisdom, the broken-hearted can rebuild themselves as whole for either eventual reconciliation or fulfilled new lives alone.
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Do compliments make you feel uncomfortable? Here’s why.
From setting our expectations too high to being used to criticism, here are a few reasons why compliments may make us feel uncomfortable.
Complements are a way of showing appreciation. Be it for appearances or the way we look, or the way we behave, compliments can make our day better. When we receive compliments from people we love, we feel more beautiful and better. However, sometimes, we may struggle with receiving compliments.
“Many people struggle with accepting compliments; often, feeling a surge of anxiety, it’s commonly reflexive to reject the compliment or give a compliment back to shift attention or shut down,” wrote Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders. Here are a few reasons why getting compliments may make us feel uncomfortable.
We are used to being criticised: When we are brought up in dysfunctional homes, we are so used to being criticised all the time that a compliment can feel foreign to the mind and body. We may face difficulties in understanding the compliment and taking it in a healthy manner because we are not used to it.
Our expectations for ourselves are very high: We often set so high expectations for ourselves that we are never able to match up to them. This also makes us feel that we are never good enough. Hence, when someone else compliments us, we feel that we are not ready to receive it.
We do not like the attention: Be it for the sake of safety or for people pleasing, we orient ourselves to feel small. Hence, when a compliment comes our way, we are not able to take it because we do not like the type of attention that comes with it.
We are concerned about being self-centered: Through various familiar messaging or religious upbringing or culture, we have absorbed the idea that getting compliments can make us too proud of ourselves, and in turn, turn us into self-centered beings. Hence, we try to reject compliments.
We do not trust people: When we have trust issues with people, we have a difficult time understanding if their compliments are true or if that is a way of getting things done their way.
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Are you being immature during conflicts? Here are the signs
From blaming to being vague, here are five signs that we are being immature during conflicts.
A conflict is natural in a relationship. Be it having disagreement on a petty thing or a life-changing decision, arguments help us to understand the perspectives of the partner better. “It is actually the default in our human DNA to be immature in the midst of tension.
The key is not to be angry or offended by our immaturity but to be able to notice it in ourselves. We can’t transform what we can’t see. I can shift to making mature choices when I can see and call out my immaturity. immaturity And often, the most mature thing we can do is take a break from the argument so we can take a look at ourselves and how we are being immature in the conversation,” wrote Couples Coach Julia Woods.
Making it about us: Instead of making it entirely about us, we should focus on the harm that the conflict is doing to the other person and also the relationship we share with them. We should not just focus on the impact of the disagreement or the argument on ourselves.
Emotionally unavailable: We should stay invested in the conversation and try to understand the perspective of the partner. Being emotionally unavailable can ruin a healthy space for communication and make the partner feel that we are not invested in the relationship.
Being controlling: Being controlling and trying to dominate the emotions of the other person is a toxic trait. Instead of that, we should be good listeners to the partner and try to understand their emotions.
Being vague: We should not try to avoid the conversation by being vague. Pushing the conversation for another time just because we are not comfortable with the difficult conversation can lead to frustration.
