Before tying the knot, there are questions to ask before marriage that needs answers. Questions that not only tell your compatibility but also the deep opinions, values, and aspirations of your future spouse.
So I assume you are already engaged, congratulations! Getting married is a big step in any relationship; it signifies the love and commitment you have for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
And for you to be thinking of taking this next big step, you might assume that you know everything you need to know about your future life partner. And you probably should but the truth is that there are 101 questions to ask before you say I do that most people overlook or even tend to forget.
Those assumptions that you know everything about your spouse might be one of the biggest mistakes you might make as an individual because before you know it, the knot is tied!
And that’s when you’ll now begin to unravel parts of your spouse that are different from whom you claimed to know. But asking your partner the right questions to ask before marriage can save you from that dilemma.
You might assume that those big important questions are always asked before people tie the knot; it will shock you to know how many of them as swept under the carpet or never even thought of to asked. Asking your partner the right questions to ask before marriage can help you start married life on the right foot and keep divorce at bay.
I remember a colleague of mine from work. When she got engaged to her boyfriend of 10 months, she was over the moon. I remember telling her to take some time from the excitement of planning a wedding to ask her future husband certain questions.
And that my suggestion came about when I asked her if she’ll be moving states or if she and her intended husband would settle in Ohio.
She had no idea what the answer was to that simple questions and many more uncertainties surrounding her career. The bad part was she never took my advice to find some calm in the midst of chaos; she got embroiled in planning the wedding and when the knot was tied was swept off to the honeymoon.
She returned from her honeymoon, quit her job and she and her husband packed their most important belongings in their van and was set on a road trip. I later discovered that in the heat of passion they decided to live in a van and move states.
Six months later she returned to apply for her previous position and that was when I learned that the man she married was a total stranger to her.
The important questions to ask yourself before marriage and questions to ask before you say I do which I suggested to her which she ignored came back to bite her in her behind.
She found out that they had different beliefs and values to certain core issues; it was like when the cloud fell from her eyes, she saw all the wrong reasons she married him and all the right reasons she shouldn’t have.
All those could have been avoided if she listened but I promise you that after that incident she did listen because she’s currently happily married with two kids.
Today, I’ll be giving you 100 questions to ask before marriage because an uncomfortable discussion now can save you so much heartache later like my colleague discovered.
Questions To Ask Before Marriage – Parenthood
You might be wondering what questions to ask a boy before marriage? Parenthood is a good place to start as this will tell you the kind of family to plan to have.
1. Are you unable to have children?
2. Do you want children?
3. What style of discipline do you plan to take with your kids?
4. Do you think children should be made to do household chores?
5. What is your view of abortion? Should a husband have an equal say in whether his wife has an abortion?
6. How would you handle it if we have difficulty conceiving? Would you adopt if you were unable to have a child naturally?
7. Have you ever given birth to a child or fathered a child who was put up for adoption?
8. Do you intend to raise your kids with a particular religion?
9. Do you think problems in the marriage or family should be discussed with other relatives?
10. How do you see kids fitting into our life?
11. Would you be opposed to having our parents watch the children so we can spend time alone together?
12. Would you put your children in private or public schools?
13. What Are Your Expectations Around Childcare and Parenting?
14. Do you believe that children have rights? Do you feel that a child’s opinion should be considered when making family and life decisions, such as moving or changing schools?
15. How would you handle it if you didn’t like your child’s friends?
16. Should boys be treated the same as girls? Should they have the same rules for conduct? Should you have the same expectations for their s8xual behavior?
17. How involved do you want grandparents to be in our parenting?
18. Who is responsible for birth control? What would you do if there were an accidental pregnancy before you planned to have children?
19. Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was s8xually active?
20. How far apart do you want kids?
Dirty Questions To Ask Before Getting Married
So, I think now is the best time to ask your future partner some dirty questions. You will need to know your partner in and out and what better way than to ask them some deep revealing questions.
These dirty questions to ask before getting married will help you know your partner’s preference and will strengthen your bond because if these questions don’t, nothing will!
Feel free to check out 100 Dirty questions to ask your man for more resources and if you’re feeling more freaky!
21. How often would you like us to make love?
22. What sensual fantasies might you like to enact one day?
23. How do you feel about toys?
24. What is cheating to you?
25. How do you feel about dirty film?
26. If you could make love in any location in the world, where would it be?
27. What’s something non-lewd that turns you on?
28. What do you think about when you touch yourself?
29. Have you ever been caught in the act before? Tell me about the experience.
30. Is there any lewd movie scene that turns you on?
31. How many people have you slept with?
32. When did you first have intercourse?
33. What’s your favorite position?
34. Do you prefer to give or receive?
35. What was your best climax ever?
36. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
37. Do you feel comfortable initiating intercourse? If yes, why? If no, why?
38. What do you need in order to be in the mood for intercourse?
39. Have you ever been abused or assaulted?
40. Have you ever slept with someone you work with?
41. If we were out for dinner and I said I wanted to make love right now, what would you do?
42. Do you use lovemaking to self-medicate? If something upsets you, do you use lovemaking to try and help you feel better?
43. Have you ever felt forced to have lovemaking to keep the peace?
44. How do you expect to get sensual needs met if I’m not meeting them?
45. Have you ever forced someone or been told that you forced someone to make love with you to keep the peace?
46. Is sensual fidelity an absolute necessity in a good marriage?
47. How do you feel about consensual non-monogamy? Open marriage?
48. What would a titillating vacation look like for you?
49. Where’s the wildest place you’ve ever hooked up with someone before?
50. If you could sleep with any celebrity, who would it be?
Questions About Finances
Before you tie the knot, questions to ask before marriage about finances are of utmost importance. The success of your marital journey might be largely dependent on your financial views. So make sure you and your spouse are on the same page about money by asking these financial questions.
Feel free to check out 12 money questions to ask before marriage for more resources and if you’re feeling more freaky!
51. What Are Your Financial Goals and How Can We Try to Reach Them?
52. How do you feel about debt? Do you have any debt?
53. Who will take care of the financial matters of the household?
54. Do you think married couples should share a bank account?
55. Do you want to save a lot early on, or save up in bursts for things like a vacation or a new TV?
56. Do you want separate bank accounts, or to share all assets?
57. Do you keep a budget? How well do you budget? How would you plan to manage one as a couple?
58. Do you use credit cards?
59. What are your views on spending money? What are your views on saving money?
60. How much money do you spend on clothing every year?
61. Do you gamble?
62. Do you think couples should have a conversation before making any major purchases?
63. What is your annual income?
64. Do you believe in prenuptial agreements? Under what circumstances?
65. Are material possessions important to you?
66. How important is it for you to make a lot of money?
67. Are both spouses equally responsible for financial decisions?
68. Do you have money set aside for retirement?
69. What if a family member wants to borrow a large sum of money?
70. Would you be willing to get a second job if we had financial problems?
General Questions
These are general questions about life, living, and lifestyle preferences. They also cover subjects on morality, morals, values, and beliefs. These are certainly among important questions to ask before marriage as they would make you know your partner better.
71. What Are Your Deal-Breakers?
72. Would you be open to therapy if our marriage needed it?
73. What are your views on infidelity?
74. Are you an animal lover?
75. What doubts and fears do you have about marriage?
76. Do you consider yourself liberal, moderate, or conservatives, or do you reject political labels?
77. Why marriage? What do you think marriage means?
78. Do you like having a close relationship with your neighbors? For example, would you give a neighbor a spare key to your home?
79. What’s Your Biggest Fear?
80. How important is it to you to contribute time or money to charity?
81. Where does your partner want to live?
82. What is your partner’s ideal vacation?
83. How Can I Help You When You’re Stressed?
84. What’s Your Communication Style?
85. Do we appropriately respect any religious, spiritual, or political differences between us?
86. Do either of us have any major secrets we haven’t yet shared?
87. Have you ever committed a crime? If yes, what was it? Have you ever been arrested? If yes, for what? Have you ever been in jail? If yes, why?
88. Do you fight fair? How do you know?
89. Which of our parents do you think may cause relationship struggles for us in the future? How Do We Deal With our In-Laws?
90. How important are wedding anniversaries to you?
Questions To Ask About Goals, Dreams, And Aspirations
91. What are your career aspirations?
92. What would you like to be doing five or ten years from now?
93. Whose career would take precedence if it became necessary?
94. How do you tackle obstacles in your life? In a relationship?
95. What impact do you want to have on the world?
96. How passionate is your partner about their career? How passionate are you about your career?
97. Has work-life balance ever put a strain on your relationship?
98. Does having a demanding job support the lifestyle you two enjoy?
99. What is your dream job?
100. What is your retirement plan? What do you plan to do when you stop working?
101. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
102. What is the one thing you have to have in order to feel comfortable in daily life?
103. When you reach your current goals, can you see yourself developing new dreams?
104. What Are Your Goals and How Can We Try to Reach Them?
105. Do you enjoy traveling? Where would you like to travel?
106. How supportive is your partner of your career goals?
107. What do you see in our future?
108. What is your purpose in life and how is this marriage going to help you fulfill it?
109. What are the most important values to you?
110. What are my goals in life and are they compatible with my partner’s goals?
Health-Related Questions
111. What is your medical family history?
112. If I had to change my diet because of medical concerns, would you be willing to change yours?
113. How would you handle it if one of us was diagnosed with a major illness?
114. Do you have health insurance? Dental insurance?
115. Do you play sports or take exercise classes?
116. Do you take medication?
117. Have you ever had an STD?
118. Does anyone in your family suffer from alcoholism? How much alcohol do you take every week?
119. Would you be opposed to mental health treatment?
120. Do you smoke, or have you ever smoked?
121. Are there genetic diseases in your family or a history of cancer, heart disease, or chronic illness?
122. Do you consider yourself an addictive personality, and have you ever suffered from an addiction? Have you ever been told you have an addiction problem, even though you might disagree?
123. Do you have any illness or medical problem that affects your ability to have a fulfilling bedroom life? (For example, erectile dysfunction, etc)
124. Do you use recreational drugs? Have you ever used them?
125. How are we going to take care of our parents in the future?
126. What are your wishes if something were to happen to you unexpectedly?
127. When was the last time you visited a hospital?
128. How would you describe the current state of your health?
129. Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder?
130. Is health problems a factor for you in break up?
Asking your partner questions to ask before marriage will set up your marriage for success but don’t put the crazy expectation on yourself that everything has to be perfect.
Knowing these 100 Questions to ask before marriage gives you an opportunity to focus on the important things before you walk down the aisle.
You don’t need to ask your partner all the questions once as it will simply overwhelm them. You can a few questions at a time and if the answers aren’t favorable, you can always come to a compromise but it should be from both parties.
If you need more resources, you can check out these awesome conversation starters. I would like to hear more questions you think should be asked from you in the comment section below! Xoxo, until next time!
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